It’s that time of year again when we dredge up the resolutions – usually the same ones we’ve been making for years – and try all over again to lose the extra pounds, quit smoking, exercise more, etc.  If you signed on to a pledge like this at the stroke of midnight on December 31, I’ll bet you dollars to donuts that you’ve either fallen off the wagon by now or will do so very soon, and then you’ll have to go through it all over again next year.  They’re all worthy goals and succeeding at just one of them would make you feel great but why is it that we have to keep repeating them like an endless Groundhog Day sequel? Perhaps there’s an alternative…

The first of the eight limbs of Classical Yoga consists of five Yamas, or ethical precepts, and the first of these is ahimsa, non-harming or non-violence.  It came as a revelation to me a few years ago when a beloved yoga teacher pointed out that we should practise ahimsa towards ourselves as well as to others. That was in the context of the asanas (physical postures) and gave me the permission I needed to set my own limits and stop hurting myself in class as I struggled to make my body conform.  It was a great relief and my yoga practice improved significantly because of it. Since then, I’ve extended the philosophy of ahimsa to other areas of my life and this year it occurred to me that it might apply to the New Year’s Resolution conundrum.

The resolutions we make don’t usually spring from a positive source but are reflections of our negative perceptions of ourselves. Perhaps that’s why they’re so hard to keep.  When we make them we hope – albeit subconsciously – that if we’re thinner, look better, don’t smoke or whatever, our lives will be magically transformed, but deep down inside we know that’s not true.  Then when the resolutions are broken and our good intentions fall by the wayside we feel even worse about ourselves than we did before and we probably pig out or have another cigarette as a result!

This year I’m trying a different approach.  Rather than resolving to change the things I don’t like about myself, something that’s always ended up being harmful in the past, I’ve resolved to be less critical of myself. If I can do that I’ll be practising ahimsa towards myself and I think I might find that I don’t need the things I usually make resolutions about: the guilty chocolate binge or the extra glass of red wine I knew I didn’t want when I asked for it. I hope that by learning to accept and like myself as I am I’ll be stronger, more confident and more able to help myself and other people.

So how about it?  It’s not too late to modify your resolution to recognize the positive things about you rather than concentrating on the negative.  Why not try choosing ahmisa for yourself and post a comment to let me know how it works?